


All of the Stars

by Chericola



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, post-kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 19:08:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13794285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chericola/pseuds/Chericola
Summary: Terra and Aqua help each other recover from the trauma of the past years. A pair of one-shots set post-KH3, involving love, comfort and stars.





	1. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months after Xehanort's defeat, Terra and Aqua try to repair their friendship to something like what it was before everything changed for them.

It had been a few months since he, Aqua and Ven had returned to the Land of Departure, but the nightmares still came. Terra thankfully didn’t remember a lot from those dreams, but he was always left with Xehanort’s face swimming in his vision, a dry mouth and his whole body shaking from the half-remembered nightmare.

He’d just woken up from one such dream. He didn’t see any point in trying to sleep again—the nightmares always left him feeling alert and restless. He also had a sense of dread, that if he closed his eyes again it would become his reality. So, he climbed out of bed and sought out Aqua. He expected to find her patrolling, like she usually did, but this time she was nowhere he expected her to be.

He finally found her at the summit, gazing up at the stars, wrapped in a blanket, her bare legs dangling over the edge of the cliff.

She turned to look at him as he approached. ‘Another nightmare?’

He nodded. Silently he moved to sit beside Aqua on the short wall, arranging himself so that she could put her head on his shoulder if she wanted to.

To his surprise, she did; he stiffened slightly before forcing himself to relax again.

‘He’s gone, Terra,’ Aqua reminded him. ‘He’s not coming back.’

She shivered and hugged her blanket closer to her body, and he wondered if she was trying to convince herself as well as him. Xehanort had left such an impact on their lives that it was hard to believe that he was gone for good. That he wouldn’t return as more than haunted memories within his victims.

They sat in silence together, gazing up at the stars. It came to Terra that this was the first time they’d done this since their return. The first time they’d dared sit so close to one another. Before Xehanort, it had been so easy to be intimate with one another. After their return, though, there had been too many bad memories between them. Memories filled with blood, grief and pain. They’d kept their distance, the slightest touch causing Aqua to shy away and himself to recoil in remembered horror and guilt. Now here they were, Aqua’s head resting on his shoulder as if it was the most natural place for it to be. It felt strange, but good, even if he still somewhat felt like he might hurt her. It was like he’d regained something he hadn’t realised he’d been missing.

‘I’d missed this,’ he heard Aqua say, echoing his thoughts. ‘I’ve missed it a lot.’

‘Just this?’ He chuckled, and winced slightly as Aqua mock-shoved him. He was glad to see her smile as she put her head on his shoulder again.

‘No,’ she said in a softer tone. ‘You, too.’

More silence. He felt a warm glow in his heart and found himself reaching for her hand, to squeeze it. He didn’t say anything; she knew that he felt the same way about her. He did love Ven—he was like a younger brother to him—but it was Aqua who had been with him since the very beginning, when they were both young children living in the Land of Departure and being raised by Master Eraqus. Aqua who he’d played and trained with for years before Ven’s arrival. They had a bond that was different from the one they each had with the younger keyblade wielder—equal in love, but different all the same.

When had that changed? 

‘It’s been too long,’ Aqua continued, again echoing his thoughts. She frowned. ‘When did we drift so far apart?’

Terra couldn’t say. Was it after the Mark of Mastery, when Aqua passed and he didn’t? Or did it start long before then? All he remembered was that one day, there was a rift between them that had never been there before, and he hadn’t known how to bridge it. There wasn’t a day that passed during the next thirteen years when he didn’t wish that he had acted sooner to close that distance between them. And afterward… he’d badly wanted—no, craved—what they used to have, but fear had stopped him from approaching her. Fear of hurting her more than he had already. She’d been through so much. Had fallen into the Realm of Darkness because of him; had been cut, stabbed and tortured at his own hands. She didn’t blame him for any of it, but he could never suppress the feeling of dread he had whenever he approached her. Like if he came too close, his body would move against his will to strike her down.

‘I don’t know,’ he said honestly. ‘It was my fault. I should’ve done something. Told you how I felt. Instead I let it come between us.’

Aqua shook her head. ‘It wasn’t all you. I should’ve tried harder to understand. To listen to you. Maybe then…’ She shook her head, as if to clear it. ‘It doesn’t matter now. None of it does. It’s over. We can move on with our lives.’

Terra knew exactly what she meant. How could they move on, though, after everything that had happened and so much that had come between them? Terra wasn’t sure it was possible. There was also that fear that he would hurt Aqua again if he wasn’t careful enough. He didn’t want to hear her screaming in pain because of him ever again. 

‘Terra?’ Aqua’s worried voice came from beside him. Goodness knew what his expression looked like. He turned his face away from her so that she wouldn’t have to see it.

‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he muttered. ‘If I get too close, I might.’

‘You won’t,’ Aqua said firmly. ‘If you won’t trust yourself, then trust me. I know you. I know that you would never willingly hurt anyone.’

‘Then why did you avoid me?’

The words were out of his mouth before he realised what he was saying. Even so, he didn’t want to take them back. There was an aching hurt in the pit of his stomach that resurfaced every single time he recalled or saw Aqua shying away from him with that terror in her eyes.

For a moment Aqua gaped at him with wide eyes. His tone was bitter and angry and filled with a hurt that he hadn’t given voice to before. He should have, he knew, but it was too late now.

‘I…I’m sorry I kept my distance,’ Aqua said quietly. ‘Part of me was… scared. I just couldn’t forget what he did, even if I wanted to.’ She looked away, shame-faced. ‘I know it wasn’t you, and I don’t blame you for any of it. I just… couldn’t forget. That’s no excuse, though,’ she added. ‘I should’ve been there for you.’

He kept his mouth shut, lest he said something he knew he’d regret (and didn’t even mean). Only once he’d regained control over his raging emotions did he answer her. ‘We both should’ve been there for each other.’

‘I was never afraid of you,’ she said steadily. ‘Only Xehanort. You should know that. He’s the one who hurt me. Hurt us. Not you.’ 

Tears stung his eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did that to you.’

‘But it’s over now, Terra,’ she continued. ‘Xehanort and everything that hurt us is gone forever. Please, Terra. I’ve missed us. How we used to be. You’re one of my best friends. We’re here and survived everything Xehanort threw at us and we can move on now.’ She looked at him and he saw the trepidation in her eyes. Fear that maybe their old bond was too broken to be repaired. ‘If you want to?’

For a long moment, he didn’t speak, debating on how to respond. He couldn’t make any promises. He didn’t think that their friendship could ever go back to how it used to be, but that didn’t mean they shouldn’t try. 

‘I missed you too,’ he finally said. ‘Every day.’

He didn’t have to say any more than that. He felt Aqua relax against him.

‘It’ll take time,’ he said. 

She nodded. ‘For both of us. But I’m willing if you are.’

Yeah, he was willing. He’d missed her too much not to be. Even if things would never be completely the same between them, he still wanted to try. It would be difficult, especially at first, but they could get through it together, if they persisted.


	2. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what, they will always be there to comfort each other.

It’s night and neither of them can sleep. They lie on the grass on the summit, gazing up at the stars, holding hands and just talking, like they used to back in the days before Ven came into their lives.  
At first their conversation focuses on mundane things, like what they did during practice that day, but eventually it drifts into more dangerous territory. Neither of them have spoken much about the trials they went through during those thirteen years apart. Terra doesn’t mind, though, when Aqua suddenly asks him about his nightmare.  
He’d had a rather bad one, the previous night. Aqua had heard him cry out in his sleep and had immediately rushed to help him. She hadn’t asked him what it was about–she’d just climbed into bed beside him and held him, waiting for his trembling to subside and his breathing to slow. He’d leaned into her and cried, breath hitching, until he sank back into sleep again. He hadn’t been aware she was there until he woke up that morning and saw her with her arms still wrapped around him and her sleeping head resting on his chest.  
‘Was it Xehanort?’ she asks softly.  
He shakes his head, looking away. ‘No– Not him. Just… other memories.’ He’s not sure he wants to burden Aqua with his most painful memories—Aqua, who still has trouble sleeping at night, whose face is still terribly pale with dark shadows underneath her eyes. She’s already been through so much and he doesn’t want to give her more burdens than she already has.  
‘Oh.’ Aqua bites her lip.  
He can’t not see her worried frown that’s directed at him, or the suggestion implied in that one ‘oh’. He shrugs. ‘I don’t want to burden you with my problems. You’ve already got a lot to deal with.’  
But she gazes at him with such concern that eventually he caves. He looks away and shrugs again. ‘Me hurting you and Ven. That’s what my nightmare was about.’ He tries to play it off like it doesn’t pain him anymore, knowing that he’d harmed his best friends while he was under Xehanort’s influence, but he can’t fool Aqua. She knows how badly he still hurts from all that Xehanort had put him through. She can see the physical and mental scars he bears—the nightmares that will never really go away, the streaks of silver in his brown hair, the slightly pointy ears, the never-ending fear that someday he will hurt her and Ven again, even if he doesn’t want to. ‘Doesn’t matter, really, now.’  
Aqua rather looks like she thinks it does matter, but chooses not to respond to his last sentence. Instead, her thoughts stray in a different direction. The first time she saw Terra, not long after she’d come back into the Realm of Light, she’d been shocked by how much he’d changed. He’d looked so much older. His hair was longer and completely silver and his eyes were a cruel amber-gold. To anyone else present, he looked like any other Xehanort clone—cold, cruel and completely void of any light. To her, though… he was anything but. She could always see him, even when he couldn’t see himself.   
‘Were you scared?’ she asks him quietly.  
He knows what she’s thinking about now. ‘Yeah. All the time,’ he admits. Scared of dying, scared of losing himself. Back then, he’d gotten so used to the feeling that he’d stopped noticing it. It wasn’t until he was safe and free that he started recalling the emotion with full force whenever he recalled that time.  
‘So was I,’ Aqua says, squeezing his hand tightly. ‘Me and Ven both were. If he’d killed you, we would’ve killed him.’ He almost smiles as the fierceness he loves in her lights her eyes. ‘Master Yen Sid wouldn’t have been able to stop us.’  
He returns the squeeze just as strongly, knowing exactly what she means. If Xehanort had killed Ven and Aqua, either through him or someone else, he wouldn’t have rested until the old master was dead in the ground.  
‘When Master Yen Sid told us what had happened to you, I was so angry I would’ve done it without hesitating. Then I met you in Arendelle and saw that you were still there, and I was so relieved. We could still save you, even if you didn’t think you could be saved.’  
He squeezes her hand again. ‘The only thing that kept me fighting was you and Ven and the master. I don’t think I would’ve survived it, otherwise.’   
‘You would’ve found a way,’ Aqua insists. ‘I know it.’  
He shakes his head, knowing better than her. He’d known—or thought he knew—what would eventually happen to him. Xehanort had been part of him, so much so that even after they’d split he still had some control over him. Not as much as before, but still worse, because this time Xehanort meant to use him against his friends. Against Aqua and Ven. He would rather have died than let that happen.  
His death would have left left Xehanort without a Darkness, and he would’ve been free from the never-ending pain that came with being Xehanort’s vessel. It would’ve been worth it, back then before he knew that he could be saved, as long as Aqua and Ven were able to survive and be safe.  
‘Terra?’  
‘Yeah?’  
‘Do you remember Castle of Dreams?’  
‘Yeah,’ he responds warily, unsure where she’s headed with this.  
‘You told me how powerful it is just to believe. That a powerful enough dream will always be enough to light the darkness.’  
‘Yeah,’ he says softly. ‘I remember.’ Hesitating, he adds, ‘You said that in Arendelle.’  
He’s unsure about recalling that shared memory in front of her. It’s filled with blood and pain and fear and grief and he doesn’t want to cause her any more undue hurt. Aqua nods though, seeming unperturbed by it, though a shadow does cross her eyes briefly. ‘Yes,’ she says quietly. ‘I remember.’  
She leans her head against his shoulder. ‘I wanted you to know. To keep believing, even when it seemed impossible. I thought it’d help.’ She gazes at him then, her eyes fathomless pools that threaten to drown him. ‘Did it?’  
He nods, his throat suddenly so tight that he’s unable to speak. He wants to thank her—wants to say a good many things—but he can’t make his mouth and throat work. It doesn’t matter, anyway—Aqua can see everything that he longs to say in his eyes.  
‘Good.’ Aqua smiles at him. ‘No matter what, even if the future is dark, our dream will always be enough to light our way. It doesn’t matter how difficult things get—we’ll get through everything as long as we’re together in our hearts.’   
The thought comforts him greatly. He leans against Aqua and smiles, squeezing her hand in gratitude. Yeah, maybe Aqua’s right. It won’t matter if people look strangely at him because of his—to them, at least—rather odd appearance, or if Xion, Roxas and others shy away from him because of his resemblance to the man who had hurt them so terribly. It won’t matter if he is permanently altered, both mentally and physically. As long as he, Ven and Aqua have each other, he can survive whatever the future throws at him.   
ooooo  
A few nights later, Aqua wakes up screaming. She doesn’t stop until Terra has climbed out of her bed and turned on the light. He sees her face as she comes back to herself. It crumbles from its previous terrified expression as she breaks down completely into tears.  
Her broken sobs hurt his heart. He hugs her to his chest, rubbing her back and murmuring soothing words. He’s not sure if it’s working—he doesn’t have much experience at comforting anyone—but at least he’s doing something. He hopes it’s enough.  
After what feels like an eon, the sobs die away. Aqua sighs heavily and pulls away from him. He lets her go but keeps hold of her hand.  
‘I’m all right now,’ she says in a voice that’s trying to be firm but really isn’t.  
‘…Sure?’  
She squeezes his hand and smiles wearily. ‘Yes. Go to sleep.’  
He doesn’t, not wanting to leave Aqua by herself after what had just happened. And truthfully, he’s scared of falling asleep and seeing Xehanort in his nightmares.  
For a while they lay there in silence, their hands intertwined in each other’s. Aqua’s eyes are wide-open, fixed on the ceiling but not really seeing it. Her fingers feel stiff and cold in his own, as if whatever memory she’s seeing has sucked the life out of them. He hates that. Hates seeing how much she’s hurting.  
There’s got to be some way to fix this. To help her snap out of whatever daze she’s fallen into.  
‘Aqua?’  
‘Yeah?’ She doesn’t turn her head. Doesn’t stop staring at that faraway point on the ceiling.  
‘Remember when we were kids and spent the night on the summit?’   
‘Yeah,’ she breathes. ‘I wanted to see the stars.’  
It’d been not long after the master had first brought Aqua home with him. She’d been homesick for a while—sometimes he’d hear her crying into her pillow, long into the night. It had annoyed him to no end, and he’d spent those sleepless nights wishing that she’d be quiet and let him sleep in peace.   
In the end, he’d decided to march into her room and tell her so. The moment he’d entered, though, he’d seen her sitting on the side of her bed curled into herself with her blotched, tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips, and all thoughts of that had flown completely out of his mind.  
Having heard his approaching footsteps, Aqua’d looked up and saw him standing awkwardly in the doorway. She’d tried to smile at him but failed miserably. ‘Hi Terra.’  
‘Hi.’  
She scooted over slightly and Terra scrambled to sit beside her.   
‘Sorry if I woke you up,’ Aqua whispered. ‘Couldn’t sleep.’  
‘Oh.’   
Aqua sniffled and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her pyjama shirt.  
‘You wanna hankie?’ he blurted out. ‘I got one in my pocket.’  
She gave him a tiny nod, and dug into his pants’ pocket and handed it to her. It wasn’t much—just a scrap of cloth he’d kept from his old life on the streets—but Aqua gazed at it as if was priceless.   
‘Thanks. I never had a hankie before.’   
She awkwardly blew her nose with it, but when she moved to give it back to him he stopped her. ‘Better keep it. You might need it later.’  
She nodded and sniffled again. ‘Th-thanks, Terra.’  
‘So what’s wrong?’  
Aqua bit her lip. ‘I—I’m h-home-sick,’ she admitted, as if it was the most embarrassing act to be caught in.  
‘Homesick?’  
He couldn’t really relate to that. He’d been glad to leave his own life behind, when Master Eraqus had taken him back to the Land of Departure. There’d been no-one left for him back in his homeworld; he’d been fending for himself on the streets since he was five years old. There’d never be a time when he longed to go back to that life.  
‘Yeah.’ Her lip wobbled again; he wondered if she was going to cry again. He hoped not. ‘I m-miss my r-room in the orf…orf… or-pha-nage, and my books, and the stars…’  
Now she really looked like she might burst into tears, so he sought something to distract her.  
‘You like stars?’   
She nodded. ‘Yup. There were lotsa stars outside the window near my bed. I liked looking at them. B-but I can’t see them here.’  
‘Oh.’ He looked at her side-ways, at the fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. ‘I like stars too,’ he tried.  
She looked down at the hankie clutched between her fingers and said nothing. So he tried again. ‘If you wanna see the stars, I know a good place.’  
Finally she lifted her head. ‘W-where?’ she asked. He was pleased to see a new light in her eyes.  
‘At the summit. Wanna see?’   
Aqua looked at him askance. ‘But we’re not s’pposed to be out of our rooms.’  
He shrugged. ‘S’no big deal. C’mon. It’ll make you feel better.’   
He held out a hand; she took it without question. There was nothing but trust in her eyes.  
They tip-toed together through the manor and out into the open air, both gasping in relief when Eraqus did not wake up and hear them leaving.   
As they emerged onto the summit, Aqua came to a halt, gazing with wide eyes at the specks of light dotting the night sky.  
‘Cool, huh?’  
She nodded rapidly, rendered mute by the beauty before her.  
Terra plonked himself down on the grass. She sat down beside him, tucking her knees to her chest and resting her head on her crossed arms.  
‘It’s so pretty,’ she murmured. ‘Prettier than in the or-pha-nage.’   
‘Yeah,’ Terra agreed. ‘You wanna go back?’  
Aqua shook her head, a huge smile dawning on her face.  
They’d sat without speaking after that, just looking up at the stars. Eventually, though, without meaning too, they fell asleep. In the morning a panicked Master Eraqus had found them tangled together on the grass, their heads resting close to one another and their hands held tightly together. He had a few choice words to say about their nightly escapade. Terra had immediately taken the blame, saying that it’d been his idea and Aqua shouldn’t be punished for it. The master had listened and made him do all the chores for three whole weeks as punishment, but it’d been worth it to see the look of joy on Aqua’s face as she gazed up at the stars with him.  
Aqua’s face softens in remembrance of that long-ago night. A smile creeps onto her face; her eyes shine with tears. ‘You were so kind to me, that night. I felt so alone and scared and you came and gave me a hankie and helped me feel at home. I never forgot it.’  
He snorts, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at this display of emotion. ‘Yeah, yeah.’   
Aqua quietly laughs and mock-shoves him, and he finds himself chuckling too. It feels good, somehow, to let it all out like this. It’s something they hadn’t realised they both needed.   
Then she turns to really look him in the eyes, gently squeezing his hand. ‘And… thank you for tonight. For being there for me.’  
He pulls his eyes away from her beautiful blue ones, lest they wreck him completely. Instead he keeps his gaze locked on their joined hands.   
‘You’re welcome,’ he says quietly. ‘Always.’


End file.
